The Verdict is in...

I had an appointment with my Doctor yesterday, and it was not good news for me. The verdict is in, and in her words I am "not a candidate for an epidural." Apparently those blessed rods in my spine

are in the way.

 

So I'm thinking, well that means I'll have a C-section.

WRONG.

 

My doctor didn't even mention that, she just recommended I start researching meditation and breating techniques and sign up for a birthing class.

She kept saying things like, "I know you can do it!" and I didn't want to sound like a baby so I just nodded along and muttered "Ok."

 

Luckily, my hormones let me get into the elevator before I started bawling. This was just not the option I was hoping for, or EVER wanted to pursue. And now this is something I'll have to do with

ALL my future children.

 

In a way, the experience of my back surgery has me both extremely nervous and confidant at the same time about doing this without drugs. 

 

What has me nervous is the fact that my back surgery hurt A LOT, and thats not even ranked as "the most painful thing a person can experience," like childbirth. 

 

But at the same time, the experience I had with my operation has me confidant that I can do this because I'm tough. That operation was no joke, and sometimes I wonder how my little 13-year-old self got through it.

 

So, it looks like the next 6 weeks will be filled with a lot of reading, research, and prayer.  

 

Wish me luck!